The Most Evil people in the HP books awards!
by Nightowl
Summary: Um, O.K, this ones longer and weirder. We found out more about the cows... R/R


Loudspeaker: Welcome to another one of these lousy awards thingys!

All: ::Claps:::

Loudspeaker: Do you people ever speak?  
All: No.

Cows: Moo!

::At this point, the camera moves around the stadium. We see a least a hundred cows have taken over the stadium prisoner. All the people in the stadium are being kept there by force of the cows. The stadium is know white with black spots, and a large banner that says "Cows for taking over the Americas" is streamed across the stadium::

Loudspeaker: Anyway, this is the most evil people in the HP books awards!

All: ::Screams::

Host: ::Walks onto the stage::

Host: Welcome to the most evil people in the HP books awards! Look at the award! ::We see the award: A mask of a scared face::

All: ::Claps::

Host: ::Leaves::

Loudspeaker: Please welcome Hermione Granger!

::Hermione enters the stage::

Hermione: It's Her-my-oh-knee!

Loudspeaker: But, you said- never mind.

Hermione: I'm here to present the most evil Hogwarts' teacher award!

All: ::Claps::

Hermione: And the nominees are…

Loudspeaker: Severus Snape! Mad-Eye-Moody (actually, Barty Crouch jr.)! Sybil Treleway! Something Quirell! 

Hermione: And the winner is ::opens envelope:: Sybil Treleway!

All: ::looks shocked::  
Loudspeaker: To explain- Sybil Treleway is actually the- um- 3rd most loyal servant of Voldemort. Which might explain why she is predicting everybody's deaths all the time.

Hermione: However, Sybil Treleway is no longer with us- thanks to a diesel truck- and is unable to except this award. 

All: ::Claps::

Cows: Moo!

Loudspeaker: For a news break, we will know turn on the huge T.V behind Hermione. 

All: ::Groan::

Hermione: ::Walks off stage::

T.V: ::Turns on::  
Newscaster on T.V: This is a special update on the Cows' evasion! Apparently, over 100 cows have attacked Washington D.C, and all of North America, as well as the whole continent of South America! There are apparently making a speech, now.

A cow: Moo! Moo! Moooooooo! Moomoo! Moo!

All cows: Moo!

T.V: ::Turns off::

Loudspeaker: Give it up for the Cows!

All: ::Claps and Cheers::

All Cows: Moo!

Loudspeaker: Please welcome Draco Malfoy!

::Draco walks on to the stage::

Draco: I'm here to present the award for the most evil journalist!

All: ::Claps::

Loudspeaker: We have only one nominee for this category. Rita Skeeter.

Draco: The award goes to- well, duh! Rita Skeeter! 

All: ::Claps::

Loudspeaker: Unfortunately, Rita Skeeter could not attend this award thingy and won't be able to except this award!

All: ::Claps::

::Draco walks off the stage::

Loudspeaker: Apparently, the Cows have taken over Greenland.

All: ::Claps::

Loudspeaker: Please welcome Neville Longbottom! 

::Neville walks on to the stage::

Neville: I'm hear to present the award for the most stupid evil character!

Loudspeaker: The Nominees are- 

Neville: I'm suppose to say that!

Loudspeaker: O' well. Gilderoy Lockhart! Peter Pettigrew! Bildo Baggins!

Neville: ::Opens envelope:: Gilderoy Lockhart.

::Lockhart walks on to the stage as Neville exits::

Lockhart: Hello-

::Several men in white coats with a straight jacket enter the stadium::

Lockhart: NO! You can't get me!

::Lockhart begins to run around the stadium::

::The men in white coats catch Lockhart and put him in a straight jacket. They live the stadium with a screaming Lockhart::

Loudspeaker: Now for a commercial!

::Screen blacks out::

::Suddenly, on the screen there are several cows::

Cows: Moooooo! Mooooooo! Moo! Moomoo! MOOOOOOOOOO! 

::Screen blacks out::

::Back to the awards::

Loudspeaker: Please Welcome Ron Weasly!

::Everyone claps as Ron walks onto the stage::

Ron: I'm here to present the award for the most evil snake!

All: ::Claps::

Ron: And the nominees are:

Loudspeaker: The Basilisk! Nagini! The snake in the zoo in the 1st book! 

Ron: ::Opens envelope:: Nagini!

::Nagini slithers on to the stage as Ron leaves::

Nagini: Hiss, Hissssssssssssss, Hissy Hiss!

::Nagini slithers off the stage::

Loudspeaker: Please welcome Harry Potter!

::Harry walks onto the stage::

Harry: I'm here to give out the award for the most overall evil character! And the nominees are-

Loudspeaker: Voldemort! Peter Pettgrew! Sybil Treleway! Rita Skeeter!

Harry: And the winner is.. 

::Drum roll::  
Harry: It's a tie between Voldemort and Rita Skeeter!

::Harry exits the stage as Voldemort walks on::  
Voldemort: I shall one day rule the world!

All cows: ::Attack Voldemort::

Voldemort: Ow! Ouch! 

::The T.V turns on::

::On the T.V screen, we see the presidents and Prime ministers (I hope I didn't mess it up..) of all the countries in the Americas::

Ps&PMs: We surrender to the cows!

Cows: Moo!

~ The End ~

Disclaimer: Everything belongs to J.K Rowling, except for the presidents and prime ministers, the loudspeaker, and the cows, as well as the TV The huge T.V belongs the whatever company it was made by, the presidents and Prime ministers belong to themselves, and I own everything else, which you can have except for the cows, because I say so!

A/N: I have a slight obsession for cows… _Slight…_


End file.
